"And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
-Romans 5:3-5

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Back and forth, back and forth...

"She rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, 
and while she rocked him she sang, 'I'll love you forever, I'll like for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be..."

Oh, those sweet words from one of my all-time favorite children's books, Love You Forever!  My own mommy introduced me to that book many years ago, and now I love to share it with my sweet girls.  It's such a beautiful picture of a mother's love for her children, no matter how old they are or what may happen.  The words from that book have been repeating through my mind these past few weeks as we've grown more and more busy, and we have less and less time to sit down one-on-one with our girls.  

Just last week as we were preparing for yet another outing somewhere, Raegan looked at me and said, "Mommy, I wish I was still your baby."  Naturally, I responded as any mother would respond- "What?  Are you kidding me?  You'll always be my baby."  In my mind, she is my baby.  But in her sweet little wise way, she reminded me that I don't always treat her that way... that I don't hug on her and hold her the way I used to.  As we continued in our conversation, she told me that sometimes she wishes she were a baby so she could just be held and rocked and loved on.  

Ouch.  Painful mommy moment... doesn't the truth always hurt in such a dreadful way?  As our children grow and become more independent, and seek to think on their own and do things their way, we are still called to give them the love they need.  They still need us, even on those days they try so hard not to.  When they've spent the day exploring and growing, succeeding and yes, sometimes failing, they need a mommy to hold them and rock them, to tell them they are wonderful and beautiful and loved.

I can be a bit on the slow side.  I tend to overlook the obvious all too often, but this is one lesson I pray I don't forget.  No matter how independent and strong my daughter seems to be, she still has that desire to be held and loved on, to find that calm peace that is found in being held by her mommy.  And what a lesson for me... I need to find that quiet time each day to let my Heavenly Father hold me in His arms, to allow Him the opportunity to soothe my aches and fill my heart with joy and peace.

So, in the midst of all of our chaos, I am striving to find that small bit of quiet time to allow myself to be held by Him, and also to rock my long-legged, almost-seven-year old baby back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...

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