I love the way God forces us out of our comfort zone, and then comforts us when we're out there. As I mentioned in my last post, the past month has been a roller coaster ride with not a lot of peaks, but quite a bit of falling. Unfortunately, I haven't handled things with that poise and grace that is called for in a Proverbs-31-kind-of-woman. Rather than trust and rest in God's promises, I have fought the plan and argued, and asked more than my share of "Why?"s.
Yesterday, the cookies made me cry. And they made me cry more than once. First, it was a call from a sweet friend with an offer of help with cookie baking. Sounds silly, I know, but that one offer touched my heart in ways you can't imagine. With all that's been happening in our world lately, simple things like baking Christmas cookies have been an unattainable dream. There just isn't time or energy, no matter how hard I try. Of course, I would never tell anyone that, because it sounds absolutely absurd. But God heard me anyway, and He didn't think I was totally nuts- He sent help. And just in case I didn't get the message clearly enough, someone else showed up at my house after dinner tonight to give my family a plate of freshly baked cookies to enjoy. Again, a seemingly small thing, but the tears flowed as I was reminded yet again that my God hears me and loves me enough to answer.
What I have failed to see these past few weeks is the way God has been working all around me. While I've been trying to lock myself in my bathroom and avoid the world, He has been blessing me. While I have been whining about how awful everything has been, He has been pouring His love all over me. While I've been crying into my pillow, He's been comforting and consoling me. While I've been running as hard as I can in the opposite direction, He has been right by my side, reminding me that I'm not alone. And while I've been focused on me, myself, and I, He's been reminding me that not one part of this life is really about me.
Yes, things have been tougher than usual lately. And no, life is not fair, but no one ever said it should be. As a good friend texted me today, life isn't always fair, but it is good. We just need to open our eyes to the goodness all around us. As hopeless a cause as I feel these days, He has sent blessing after blessing my way to remind me that there is hope. I have been overwhelmed by the encouragement from those around me... God knows what we need to hear and when we need to hear it, and I'm so grateful that so many people around me allow Him to use them daily to bring a bit of sunshine into this dark world.
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